I dislike my work. Once upon a time, I tolerated it. But, as time goes by, and I know my illness has cut my life short by a yet to be known amount of time, I dislike it.
Hate it, even.
Some mornings I actually sit on the floor of the shower stall and cry because I just don't want to go into the office....
But, need to put food on the table. Or, I did. Things they are a'changing.
Even though it's difficult, and we're making some sacrifices, my husband told me to "do what I love, and stop doing what I hate".
January 1st, I opened a business I love. You're at it. The Curated Closet.
While I am willing to have my husband support my "needs", I am unwilling to have him support my "wants". Or take money out of our savings for my new venture, which may fail. I can't risk losing our savings like that.
So, for now, I have cut back my hated job considerably (to about 24 hours a week) and use those earnings to fund my new business...and pay for my "wants". Working on cutting those back too.
The hope is, once my new biz is self supporting, I'll work that 24 hours a week or so in TCC, and drop my "real" job for good. For now, though, I am burning the candle at both ends...
I actually applied for disability about 4 years ago. It was denied. I had heard it is often denied on the first try, so I appealed, really thinking "of course it will be accepted!"
I went before a judge, and listened with amazement to her tell me "You're working now. Which demonstrates you are capable of working. But, I have assigned an (I forgot the technical name, but someone who can help me transition to another occupation) so that you can better take care of your illness with maybe a less stressful position".
Well, your honor, I am working, because I can't afford not to work while waiting the year plus it has taken for me to get to stand in front of you today....not because I am "capable" of it....SMH
The occupational whatever-she-was suggested that I would make a darn fine file clerk. I'm sure I would. While there's nothing wrong with being a file clerk, after spending 60k on my education, and gaining 20 years of experience, and clawing my way up the ladder, it seems like a tiny move backwards...and not all that supportive financially. Not to mention, I don't see Monster.com teeming with file clerk positions....LOL
So, I kept working. Ironically, I see the abuse of disability first hand on a monthly basis with some of my clients. It's pretty infuriating.
I'm a CFO/Controller.
Who cut her hours substantially.
And opened an eCommerce designer clothing store.
And is currently weighing picking up retail space for it.
And, on this fine Saturday, I am working. At what I love - though right now, can't say I love it all that much...it looks partly sunny out there, and I'm in here on this blasted computer, editing and making descriptions and pricing and creating SKU's... Harumph. I should be getting some Vitamin D!
One day, soon, I hope to be able to say "I own The Curated Closet. And, I love what I do."