Arrow Fat Left Icon Arrow Fat Right Icon Arrow Right Icon Cart Icon Close Circle Icon Expand Arrows Icon Facebook Icon Instagram Icon Pinterest Icon Twitter Icon Hamburger Icon Information Icon Down Arrow Icon Mail Icon Mini Cart Icon Person Icon Ruler Icon Search Icon Shirt Icon Triangle Icon Bag Icon Play Video

The Curated Closet

It's been one month since SmileDirect Club promised to make it all right...

So, I hate to write this update.

Tim at @smiledirectclub responded immediately when my post went up. Sent out a new impression kit that day. I received it via fedex on the next business day.

And, that's where the joy ended.

I've not heard another word from them.

Tim asked I use email to communicate, and not facebook messenger. I've now sent him 3 emails, asking what is going on with my situation. Not one has been answered.

So, I guess once I told my 10k+ followers what a great job they did resolving the issue, they went back to the shitty customer service I've gotten so used to.

I have an idea why my aligners may have stopped coming: the fedex that contained my new impression kit? Had no street address. My name was in the name slot, and address slot. Fedex called me early the morning of delivery to get my street address.

Which got me thinking, when did that happen? And, is that why USPS stopped delivering my (PAID FOR) aligners, because somehow my street address dropped off my profile?

Again, this seems like an issue that could have easily been resolved 6 months ago...WITHOUT my need for threatening law suits, and worse, without my having to all but start treatment over!

I have now made 14 payments of $99. And, still have the same crooked teeth... I really think my only recourse in this case is to file a small claims suit! For something that is sooo stupid!

Just give me my aligners!

I'm "badmouthing", because "badmouthing" is called for in this case! Come on @SmileDirectClub, it shouldn't take this much effort on my end to get this resolved!


Or, yeah, I'll sue. I'm not one to just wave goodbye to $1400 bucks. I don't know many peeps who would!

Continue reading

Fall is in the air...along with a good amount of both excitement and anxiety!

Fall is in the air...along with a good amount of both excitement and anxiety!


I love fall, although I hate to say goodbye to summer. Crisp air, beautiful colors, the return of boots. I'm an October baby, so maybe that has something to do with it. Or maybe not, as I think almost everyone loves fall.

This fall at The Closet, we have tons of great fashions on their way in. I have my eyes open for the unique. Like moto leggings/jeggings, print pants, cold shoulder and/or cut out sweaters. I'll need them - lots of them!

Because, sometimes you just gotta say "what the f***". (Yeah, Risky Business was on Saturday while I was doing errands around the house!) 

But, it's true. Sometimes, doing something and taking a risk is better than doing nothing.

Many of you know, I have no love for my current job/company. I own a small business accounting firm locally. And it does OK. Pays the bills, and for mani/pedi's, and allowed me to open The Closet in the first place. But, I don't love it. And I want to do something I love full time.

Not too long after I opened The Curated Closet, my husbands contract was abruptly terminated, with only 3 days notice. He's a severance, no unemployment...just "here's your last check, thanks". 

I've been dumping my income into my new business venture instead of our household account. For almost a year now. He's been supporting our household while I pursued a dream. Talk about anxiety! I'm not done putting money into this venture to make it work yet, but we have only my accounting income coming in now. So, what's a girl to do?

Say, "what the f***", that's what.

I found a storefront. I wasn't looking. But, there it was. In a great location. I quickly imagined where racks and furnishings would go. Yes, it fits my head, at least. 3 large bay windows pouring light in. One with a window seat that has to be 10-12' long and 3' deep. Room for a couple of bistro tables and a sideboard for water and tea and espresso. Because I don't want to have just another store. I'm imagining a "shopping experience".

Since I will remain eCommerce based, and also be keeping my "real job" for now, my plan is to open to the public just 2 weekends a month. But, here's the kicker: I'm going to have private shopping. And events. And even my own version of "Say Yes to the Dress".

I want to team up with other local businesses to help each other. Mom & Pop stores unite! I'd like to partner with the local winery for a tasting. And, sure, wine aficionados, shop around while you're here! One of my clients is a dermatologists office; I'd like to have a botox/filler party. Please, look around while you wait your turn. I have a friend who has an amazing skincare line, and I'd love to have her demonstrate her products, live. Ans, yes, indeed, please do shop while you're here. I'd also love to host pop-ups for all those women trying to help support their families selling Stella and Dot, or Lularoe, or whatever. Girls night going into town for dinner or a show? If there's 4 or more of you...pre-game at The Closet! I'll open it just for you, and grab some champagne and finger food, or whatever you'd like. Hang out, shop, relax a bit with the shop all to yourselves. Same with "Say Yes to the Dress"; bring your entourage, the shop will be open just for you. Celebrate with drinks and finger food and be yourselves. 

I want The Curated Closet to be unique and different. Like each of us!

I found this brick and mortar at the worst. possible. time. I'm our only income. We're going to have to dig into savings soon. While the mister has some interviews coming up, most budgets in his biz free up in October. He may well be on the sidelines until New Years. (Oh, please, no!!!!) But, it could happen.

And here I am. Picking colors. Writing down every last thing I need. Re-arranging the furnishings and racks in my head. Oh, cute, that retro coffee maker and mini fridge in aqua. Yes, 2 bistro tables opposite the window bench. A candelabra in the fireplace with cream colored candles. Can I fit a cream colored leather chaise lounge?? OK, I'm reeling it in.

It's scary. I've had a few anxiety attacks. And, lots of self doubt. Am I doing the right thing? Should I hold off until he's working? Should I put TCC aside for a bit, take on more accounting work, and get over this little hump?

Maybe, maybe I should. 

But, I'm not,

Instead, I'm saying "what the f***"

Continue reading

My Personal Experience with Smile Direct Club

My Personal Experience with Smile Direct Club

I’m not one to “trash” a company in public. But, in this case, I had such a bad experience, I feel I need to. I own 2 businesses. Besides TCC, I own a local accounting company. Customer service is one of the most important pieces of a successful business.

This story may have a happy ending – stay tuned for updates.

Last August, I saw an ad for Smile Direct Club. I had braces as a teen – complete with headgear, and a retainer, that I failed to wear all the time after my braces came off. Over time, my bottom teeth got very crowded, with one of them very crooked/pushed back due to the pressure of crowding. Also, my eye teeth started to peek under my two front teeth. This has bothered me for years, and I even checked into Invisalign. I literally jumped on the offer from Smile Direct…$99 a month, do the molds at home, receive trays in mail. For someone like me – working 80 hours a week running my own businesses- getting in for molds and appointments is difficult. So, this was a perfect solution for me. I ordered that day. I was sent a kit to make impressions, I made them, I sent them back…and received my first 4 trays. So far, so good!

I was going on a much-needed vacay Labor Day week, which was the first week of September last year; our first getaway since the mister was critically injured in his accident. After 9 months of hospitals and surgeries and doctors and rehab – not to mention the costs – boy, did I need a getaway! I also needed to do something that was just for ME; strau=ightening I decided I’d start the treatment when I got back. I had an email from a rep that said “please let me know when you start your treatment so I can send you reminders”. I returned from vacation, put my first set of trays in, and sent a reply to that email stating I started treatment. Looking back, and knowing what I now know about automated customer service, I think that original email was a “bot”. I only received 2 or 3 reminders over the course of my treatment. Luckily, I am capable of using a calendar, so it was a non-issue.

Fast forward to March. I’m on tray #12. Coming close to finishing treatment. While I can see visible improvement in my crooked teeth, they aren’t straight yet. I assume that those last few trays and the retainer are key to “completing” the straightening process. Here’s the problem: tray 13 hadn’t arrived yet. Ironically, I get a reminder from Smile Direct Club right about that time – one of just a few I received. It says to change my trays, and let them know if I have any questions. I reply to the email, stating “I haven’t received my next trays yet and have to switch next week, can you check into that for me?”

The response I received: “thank you for updating us. If you need anything before your next check-in, let us know”. 

Ummm….I did need something, the whereabouts of my next tray(s)? I emailed back stating that. And, did not receive a response. I then called. I was told “If you aren’t satisfied with your treatment, you need to send pictures to xxx email address and our dentists will review them”. Did you not hear me? I haven’t completed treatment…I have no idea if I’m dissatisfied yet! Boy, in just days would I be dissatisfied…

I decided to email and save everything. Just had a feeling this wasn’t going to go as easy as it should. What do I believe should have happened? A rep looks into the shipment of those trays. If they were shipped, track them. If they weren’t shipped, ship them. If they were shipped and lost, re-ship them. That should have been the end of this story.

But, that’s not what happened at all.

I have emailed no less than 12 times, to no avail. And, received some pretty frustrating responses. Including, “a ticket will be created” back in April, and I should hear back about it soon. Never heard a thing. I wore tray #12 for 7 weeks while awaiting my next trays. Tray 12 became so loose it would slip off my teeth when I was speaking. (and it was getting pretty gross)

Finally, I filed a dispute with my credit card company. I sent them all the emails, both sent and received. They decided in my favor. But, I was still getting charged the $99 monthly. I kept disputing each charge, explaining each month that I still have not received my next trays!

August 21. Receive an email from SmileDirectClub letting me know my next payment was coming up. I’m angry…here’ we go again. I’ll need to get online and dispute this one too.

ON August 22, I received news that made my blood boil. Smile Direct Club appealed my dispute with my credit card – and won! The charges were added back to my card! Now, I’ve paid for a treatment I spent 6 months of my life diligently doing…and because they couldn’t look into a simple issue 4 months prior, my teeth were reverting quickly and the treatment was incomplete!  I sent another email to SmileDirect stating I cannot believe I am still getting charged for treatment, when it’s been over 4 months since my last trays were delivered. I summarized what had happened to date.

The email I received back?

 “Hi M arni ,This is Shedrick  , one of the Customer Care Specialist here at SmileDirectClub!

Thank you for contacting us today. I do review your account and i saw there is a dispute placed, that is the reason why we cannot continue with the treatment, We need you to stop the dispute, revert charges so we could continue with your treatment until the end.  We do apologize for all the inconvenience caused.”

Besides the bad grammar and weird typography (yes, this is exactly what I received – weird fonts and spacing and all), it states my trays were not sent because of the dispute. 1) the dispute was because I hadn’t received my trays, and 2) the dispute was decided in their favor!

Now, I’m fuming. I email back. I ask to be contacted by a customer service manager. I receive an email from “Andrea” who states

 “Hi Marni,

 This is Andrea, one of the Customer Care Specialist here at SmileDirectClub!

 I feel so sorry regarding this whole situation. I wish I could help you as I want to. But unfortunately  my department is customer service. But I just created a ticked with the highest priority. Our Cancellation team will be reaching you really soon so they can Assist you further, they will be reaching you in the next 24-48 business hours. Please let me know if something else occurs so I can help you further.”

Cancellation department?!? I just want my trays!

And, “I wish I could help you as I want to. But unfortunately my department is customer service” This line made my husband laugh. Hard. I can laugh now, but then I was still fuming.

By the way, that email was dated 8/22/17 and 1:30am. The “cancellation team” must be very busy. As of today, I’ve never heard a word from them regarding this “highest priority ticked” (which I assume is supposed to be “ticket”…I’m guessing here, but it’s a fair guess that both Shedrick and Andrea are not here in the states based on their typo’s and grammar errors…) Since my ticket in April was never addressed, it came as no surprise to me that this “highest priority” ticket was also not addressed. I wonder if they have a “supercalafragelistic high priority”.

So, I wrote to the company and told them I was not only going to have to file a small claims suit, but that I was going to tell my story on social media. And, I posted as much to Smile Direct Club’s Facebook page – that today, Sept 9th, I’d be posting my account of the service I received from Smile Direct.

Funny, after 5 months of frustration, within an hour, Timothy Spivey sent me a message via messenger, that he was the social media manager, and would fix this overdue issue. He has stated that they cannot just send my remaining trays now, as I haven’t had trays in in so long. He told me that they would be sending a new impression kit, and would get new trays made. Or, I could go to their Boston office and have impressions made…which was odd. I’m 5 hours from Boston by train. But, whatever.

My hope is that Tim really comes through, the impression kit is actually sent, and, I actually get the trays I need to finish treatment.

That remains to be seen. Hopefully, Tim is the one who can right this mess. And if he does, I’ll be sure to tell y’all. For now, all I can say is that the concept is great, especially if you are busy like I am. It also appears to be effective, as it was straightening my teeth. Since it is one of only 2 services I know of, you’re limited as to other options. Can I recommend them? Let me say “not at this time”, and hopefully I can in the future.

 Stay tuned, as I’ll update you as to if Smile Direct Club actually comes through, and I can finally finish treatment, albeit months later than May 2017 when I was supposed to complete treatment.

Today’s post was supposed to be the video results of the Neutrogena Sunless Tan Micromist. But, this was more pressing…

…and, I picked up CVS’s version of it, and will be reviewing that one instead LOL (It was BOGO – couldn’t resist!)

Don’t forget, fall is coming…too quickly for me!

There are a ton of new additions to the website. Take a few moments this week and grab a piece to update your wardrobe. Need help or advice? You know how to contact me. I promise I’ll answer and won’t open a ticket or send it on to another department!

 For everyone in Irma’s path – do your best to stay safe!  






Continue reading

Working for a Living AKA how The Curated Closet came about

Working for a Living AKA how The Curated Closet came about

I dislike my work. Once upon a time, I tolerated it. But, as time goes by, and I know my illness has cut my life short by a yet to be known amount of time, I dislike it.
Hate it, even.

Some mornings I actually sit on the floor of the shower stall and cry because I just don't want to go into the office....

But, need to put food on the table. Or, I did. Things they are a'changing.

Even though it's difficult, and we're making some sacrifices, my husband told me to "do what I love, and stop doing what I hate".

January 1st, I opened a business I love. You're at it. The Curated Closet.

While I am willing to have my husband support my "needs", I am unwilling to have him support my "wants". Or take money out of our savings for my new venture, which may fail. I can't risk losing our savings like that.

So, for now, I have cut back my hated job considerably (to about 24 hours a week) and use those earnings to fund my new business...and pay for my "wants". Working on cutting those back too. 

The hope is, once my new biz is self supporting, I'll work that 24 hours a week or so in TCC, and drop my "real" job for good. For now, though, I am burning the candle at both ends...

I actually applied for disability about 4 years ago. It was denied. I had heard it is often denied on the first try, so I appealed, really thinking "of course it will be accepted!"

I went before a judge, and listened with amazement to her tell me "You're working now. Which demonstrates you are capable of working. But, I have assigned an (I forgot the technical name, but someone who can help me transition to another occupation) so that you can better take care of your illness with maybe a less stressful position".

Well, your honor, I am working, because I can't afford not to work while waiting the year plus it has taken for me to get to stand in front of you today....not because I am "capable" of it....SMH

The occupational whatever-she-was suggested that I would make a darn fine file clerk. I'm sure I would. While there's nothing wrong with being a file clerk, after spending 60k on my education, and gaining 20 years of experience, and clawing my way up the ladder, it seems like a tiny move backwards...and not all that supportive financially. Not to mention, I don't see teeming with file clerk positions....LOL

So, I kept working. Ironically, I see the abuse of disability first hand on a monthly basis with some of my clients. It's pretty infuriating. 

I'm a CFO/Controller.
Who cut her hours substantially.
And opened an eCommerce designer clothing store.
And is currently weighing picking up retail space for it.

And, on this fine Saturday, I am working. At what I love - though right now, can't say I love it all that looks partly sunny out there, and I'm in here on this blasted computer, editing and making descriptions and pricing and creating SKU's...  Harumph. I should be getting some Vitamin D!

One day, soon, I hope to be able to say "I own The Curated Closet. And, I love what I do."

Continue reading

When it rains, it pours!

When it rains, it pours!

So, I'm trying to get my s*** together.

I busted my back. Literally. Try working your 9-5, and running an e-commerce clothing store with that going on. Dressing dress forms, undressing dress forms, opening boxes of new inventory...

My doctor first restricted how much weight I could lift to 5lbs. My back got worse, and not better. So, he dropped that limit to 1lb! 1 pound! My purse - hell - my shampoo weighs more than a pound! I did try to comply, but as most of you know, my husband lives in another city during the week. That means that I do all those fun household chores...bring in any Amazon Pantry or subscribe & save boxes that get delivered (yeah, there are quite a few of them), bring in mail, take out garbage, scoop cat litter, etc.

This week (it's only Wednesday) my back has felt a lot better. So I'm easing back into a full work load. I figure this week I'll keep catching up on paperwork and website work and the 6 or so webinars I have in my in-box. Then next week I'll start adding all that great inventory I've received. I've gotten some great wedding gowns in - among them a Cotin Sposa I'm in love with. Also received some great designer dresses for every occasion. Nanette Lepore, Catherine Malandrino, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Aidan Mattox, Sue Wong, BCBGeneration, French Connection, Guess, Laundry, Michael Kors and so many more! Sundresses, wear to work, and date night dresses abound. Most of you now know about my dress obsession. It's because it is so much easier to throw on a dress and an accessory or two, over than finding an outfit. Same goes for rompers and jumpsuits! I have a killer lace jumpsuit that I wear once a month from April-October. I'd wear it more, but eventually someone would notice. It's like your little black dress - perfect for every occasion. But a jumpsuit.

Moving on. To why I called this post "when it rains, it pours!" During the time I was down, my husband started the procedure to get teeth implants. His accident left him missing a few teeth. An IT exec at one of the largest financial institutes in the world, and he is missing his front teeth. 3 of them. He does have a "temporary", a retainer with false teeth, he can wear in public. But, he went for the first appointment for his implants, at which they had to use cow bone and his blood and other disgusting-ness added to his jaw so they can put the posts in at his next appointment. 9 stitches. In his gums. And wearing his "fake teeth" is too uncomfortable right now with the stitches! Trust me - it's hot!! LOL, Not.... The stitches come out July 6th. And then he can wear his fakes again. Phew.

We've both been on steroids for our issues. I gained 7lbs. Him? 1. Grrrr

I've got to get back into a routine. I've cut back my "real job" to 2.5 days a week. I currently run TCC from my home, but am looking at office space for 2 reasons: I will stay more on task if there isn't laundry to switch, dishwashers to empty, etc. and, having your company in your house you can ALWAYS find more work that needs to be done. My husband may leave me if I make him rewind a movie we're watching again because I'm multi-tasking. That is, watching a movie with him and working simultaneously...

I hope to really start interacting with peeps through this blog and other social media outlets. So please follow me on Instagram @curatedcloset_ and on Facebook

Please feel free to hit me up with any questions you have. My girlfriend Joyce calls me her "favorite' app", as she asks me everything from "hose or no hose", "open toe OK for interview?", "what hotel do you like in XXX" and "what job hunting expenses can I write off?". I know just enough about a lot of things to either be helpful or a total detriment! Seriously, 20 years of managing all aspects of small businesses - you know, Mom & Pops where you have to do it all - gets you a pretty wide knowledge base. So, ask away! If I know it - I'll answer. If I don't....Google! :-D 


Continue reading

What does your closet say about you?

What does your closet say about you?

Once upon a time, I wanted my closet to say "Jackie O - timeless and sophisticated".

Then I realized, that's not me.
Or, rather, that's only a part of me.
Sure, some items in my closet are timeless and sophisticated.
They're right next to my "slightly too youthful" sundresses.
By my "fall is for tunics and leggings" collection.
Close to my "trendy but pretty much disposable" looks.
Near my "hot little vixen" dresses.
Across from my "no BS, I'm a strong woman" biz clothes.

So, I guess my closet says either " your style is very eclectic" or "your style is very confused!"

I prefer to think of myself as "versatile".

What does your closet say about you?

(pic of the mister and I is from a "groovy" themed Bat Mitzvah)

Continue reading

You know when you're pretty sure life just isn't going to cut you a break?

I'm there. At that place. The place where you think "I. Just. Can't."

Running my accounting firm during the day. Using all the funds I make from it to run this website at night. Managing a house on 33 acres. Alone, because my husband lives and works in another state Monday through Friday.

You know the place. You try to plan a getaway, either real or wished for, because you're pretty sure it's the only thing keeping you sane. Of course, that's not enough...  You walk into one clients office, where he emptied one of your Rubbermaid tubs of filing from years past  because he needed it. For the 6 little chicks now living in it. You get a few inches of snow, no big deal...until you get an inch of freezing rain on top of it. 

I did manage to plan a getaway. Just a long weekend really. 4 nights - but we arrie late, so only 4 days as well. Off the grid! We're heading to a beachfront cottage on a barrier island off the SW coast of Florida next Wednesday. No cars. No stores. No restaurants. No wi-fi, tho intermittent cell signal does exist. Only way to and from the island is by water taxi - which is $20 during the day...and a whopping $125 the night we get in late! We were going to water taxi to the mainland for diner one night...but adding an extra $125 to the dinner tab is a bit much. We did plan a bit - we're having a Terra's Kitchen box of 5 meals (3 dinners and 2 lunches) delivered to the realtor we used and it will be waiting for us. Terra's is the most expensive food delivery service, and I wouldn't usually use them...but the difference between them and the others? They prep all ingredients as well! So, literally, no cutting, dicing, washing...just follow instructions and make meal. I don't relish cooking on my vacation, but if it has to be done, that's how we'll do it! The easy way. We also paid a grocery delivery service to pick up our breakfast foods, snacks and drinks so they are also waiting on us.

I like luxurious vacations. Being waiting on. Dressing for dinner. This will be quite a change for me! Although, I am still dressing for dinner...dinner together is still dinner, t can still e a romantic, dress up occasion. Maybe more so. But, this "unplugged getaway" does have me nervous. So much going on...and I'm supposed to shut down and relax!

So, are you "there" too? Overwhelmed - or close to it?

And, how does an "unplugged" vacay sound to you...dreamy or a nightmare?



Continue reading

Where Do I Start?!?

Where Do I Start?!?

A Blog.

To me, this is going to be more like chatting. Or a diary. I'm going to try and keep it fashion related. But it won't always be. Because there's more to me than that. There's more to all of us. 

I guess I'll tell you how I got here. In a nutshell, a tough year made me realize just how much I would rather do something else - like this - over my "real" job. And, I took the leap and started this site just a few months ago, after things "settled down". And I pray it takes off and lets me continue to  phase out my "real job" and ramp this up. 2 months of working days and then working on this site and inventory and taking photos in the evenings and weekends. And phew, launched on Jan 1st as I wanted. Have a good bit to still put on the site, including wedding gowns, but, I launched. Baby steps to my new, happier, more fulfilling life. That's the short story. And you may want to stop there. Unless you like drama...then you'll like the long story. Because it's pretty dramatic.

In high school, I was into fashion design. Entered contests in magazines, took summer classes in the city, looked forward to being a broke artist sharing a NYC loft with other like-minded artists. 

The trouble with that? I enjoy living a nice lifestyle. Mom and Dad had always provided me a nice life. We weren't rich, but I guess we were well off. We lived in a desirable 'burb of NYC. I had designer jeans. We went to museums and broadway shows and ate at Kam-Bo Rice Shop in Chinatown every other Sunday.  And Mom and Dad, who were paying for college, made sure when I started college that I understood they would not be paying for any extras in college (gas, car insurance, McDs at midnight), nor would they be paying for my loft in NYC while I was awaiting my big break after graduating. So, while I still took design classes, I changed my major to finance. For no good reason...other than it was stable, and I was good at it. That was 25 years ago now...

Fast Forward: 

2016 was a bombshell year. 

December of 2015, I was on chemo. I have Multiple Myeloma. I've been on and off chemo a good while. We were buying a house, and were stunned when 2 weeks before closing, our mortgage was denied. My husband is a contractor. A well paid contractor. But, what was not an issue on our mortgages 10 years ago...apparently is now.  We had to hustle to rent a house. Found a small ranch on a large property (my husband loves property...and we're on 32 acres of it), and hoped we could swing around and purchase it in a couple years. My husband had started a 1 year contract with a Fortune 500 company only 15 miles from home. A welcome respite after a decade of traveling weekly. We could have dinner together...well, if he didn't constantly work late. So, while the house issue was a bummer, it wasn't earth shattering, and we ended up somewhere we liked better, but don't own.  And while chemo surely wasn't fun, it also wasn't debilitating. I was able to continue working PT, about 30 hours a week. So, I guess things were going as smooth as can be expected in know, a couple upsetting bumps, but more good than bad.

Then, the first week of December, my husband left work late, went with a co-worker for a drink (pissing me off), swung into the pharmacy for me (smoothing things over the tiniest bit), and then hit a deer and totaled his car. He was fine. 

3 days later, he had called and told me to eat dinner without him, he was working late. I was pissed. 2 months into this contract, and all those dinners I had hoped to eat together weren't happening. I'll slip in here that we are pretty much newlyweds. It's complicated. Life is complicated, isn't it? We've known each other 30 years. Have dated on and off roughly 15 of them. And finally married 2 years ago. But, we're both used to our space. Neither of us ever had children. We're both also pretty independent. Marriage isn't easy in the best of, older and independent has led us over some bumps. Hills. Mountains.

So, I'm pissed. And, 7:30 comes and goes. I start calling and texting. No response. 9pm I decide to drive to his office. On the drive, I get the call. This is St Mary's Trauma Center, are you Dante's wife? Dante hit a deer. In our truck. The truck rolled several times. He is in the trauma center and I need to get there. I arrived at the ER knowing nothing...and was ushered into a "quiet room". My cell battery was almost dead, and the computer in the Quiet Room wasn't working. I used the last of my phone's battery to jot down phone numbers. As my phone went dead, I called a friend to ask her to get on the internet and look up numbers for me...and I made calls. I didn't know what to say. So, I told his brother and his best friend what I knew, and to pass it on. I'm sitting in a Quiet Room. Dante is in the trauma center and they're "working on him". They will have a doctor talk to me as soon as they can. I think he's alive...but, I'm not sure. Finally a doctor comes in. He's alive. He'll have a long road to recovery ahead. Massive head injury, gashed his face open from scalp, across forehead, over the bridge of his nose, and ripping his left eyelid off - hundreds of stitches and staples, and we won't know the extent of any issues for a while. Broke 11 ribs. Collapsed lung. Chest tube. Shattered leg. And, of course a bunch of bruises, sprains, strains and such that seemed pretty insignificant in comparison.

Just like that, a life that seemed to be going well, wasn't. He would be in the hospital a while. Then a rehab center. He had just become unemployed. He's a contractor - no STD or LTD or unemployment...none of that. I was the sole bread winner. And, primary caretaker. And, I was only working PT. I have no family, and his is very small - and not geographically close. We are new to the state, and the area, and don't have many friends, and no real support system. I seriously contemplated running away in those first days. How shitty of a wife would I be to run away?!? Yeah, it'd be pretty shitty. But, I thought about it. Several times...  It just seemed too much. 

The first morning he went for a surgery to put his leg back together. While he was in surgery, the eye surgeon showed and asked my permission to keep him under and  perform the eye surgery he needed right after the ortho was finished. Of course I said yes. Surgeries went well. The healing had begun. He was in the ICU for a couple weeks. I asked permission from my clients (I own my own biz...) if I could work remotely for a few weeks, so I could stick around ICU with him. It was granted. I worked from the hospital, ran in to offices to pick up/drop off stuff, ran to the house to take care of pets, grabbed clothes, ran back to hospital. That was my life. He eventually moved to a telemetry room. And, I was able to go home more, go to work more. Chemo - all but forgotten. Really, how was I supposed to get myself to and from and feel like shit with my husband n the ICU and only my income coming in? Just wasn't going to happen. My goal at that point was to get more sleep, and start looking for more work.

I got to the hospital after work one afternoon and a nurse cheerily greeted me with a "I hear he's going home with you today!". Wait, what??? Oh, no he isn't! I stood outside his room in near meltdown mode, demanding to see the social worker, who "kept missing me". The plan was: ICU, regular room, rehab. Not home! With me! He's 200lbs. And bedridden. And needs wound care. Shots to prevent blood clots. PT and OT. WT absolute F do you mean he's coming home with me? 

Turns out, because he was non weight bearing, and needed skilled nursing care, the rehabs wouldn't accept him. So, he goes home with me. That's the back up plan?!? Home with me?!? I'm no nurse! In fact, technically, I'm a cancer patient! I'm also not good with blood or bodily functions. I was surprised I was stomaching the eye thing - his goopy, bloody eye didn't close fully anymore. After they removed his chest tube, he coughed. It squirted out the hole it left in his side his side. I puked in the garbage can. I'm am no nurse!I was assured, all medical equipment would be delivered and set up in our home before he was released. And, within 12 hours, the nurses would call to set up a schedule. It was the day before Christmas, and the medical equipment company dropped everything off, and an ambulance brought him home where his own wheelchair awaited him. 

Nurse did call to set up a schedule. Then called out. It was the holidays, after all. I was again fantasizing about running away. I didn't realize nurses can just not show. It was a rough Christmas. Lots of painkillers. A few days later, his medical transport, to take him to a doctors appointment, called to cancel. I was forced to leave work early and get him and his wheelchair in my truck on my own. I was worn pretty thin by then. Nurses came and went, along with OT and PT. I no longer counted on anyone to help us. A few friends dropped by here and there. Some bearing soup. I had fallen into a pattern of leaving him coffee, OJ, bottled water, a yogurt, and hostess cupcakes and/or oreos when I got him settled on the couch at 6am before I left for work, and bringing home take out for dinner. I already disclosed, I'm not a good nurse! It was pretty bleak around our house. On the good side, nursing care cost us a lot less then anticipated. Now, if our health insurance would have just paid me for taking their place....

He walked on February 22nd. Life started to become easier. Walker, crutches, no more OT, only PT. I was working extra, and had taken on a client that turned out to be a nightmare. A nightmare of their own creation, and would not listen to anything. Kept saying "we can't be that bad, we've been operating like this for 20 years". Yeah, and flailing the past 5...because your shitty practices have caught up to you... And, it was a 70-75 minute drive each way.  

He was able to return to work in June. Unfortunately, it takes a bit to line up a contract and go through the background checks and such. Finally, July 25th he returned to a large company he'd done 2 other contracts with. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. I left the nightmare client. And started to ponder leaving more clients as we caught up financially. 

And that's how I got here. My husband said I should do what I want. He's working, I can work less, spend some of what's left of our decimated savings on starting this business, take a break. 

So, I am. Cut my hours. Took money out of savings. Started The Curated Closet. Officially. 

Oh, and that chemo thing? Never did get back. I went for all the scans and blood work in September so I could get back on. But, I realized, I just don't want to. At least, not yet. I'm just not ready for that hurdle. 

This is my time, to try and succeed at something on my terms.

Continue reading